When Healing Changes Your Relationships

Why Energetic Shifts Cause Relationships to Fade and How to Trust the Process of Moving Forward

Change is never easy. In fact, it can be downright terrifying and extremely difficult. And being in the process of healing from PTSD and trauma can intensify it.. One of the biggest and most heartbreaking changes comes when we realize we no longer have much in common with people from the life we once lived.

This was one of the hardest obstacles for me to overcome. As I made progress in my healing, I started to notice that some of my relationships were fading and not because of any conflict or falling out, but simply because we no longer resonated on the same level. It was an energetic shift, and we had grown apart in ways I couldn't have imagined before.

At first, this felt like a heavy weight in my heart. It felt like I was losing so many people from my life. But as I allowed the process to unfold, I realized this wasn’t the loss I thought it was. It was a transformation. I was moving forward in my life in ways I never thought possible and some people were just not meant to be in this chapter of my life.

"What we change inwardly will change outer reality." - Plutarch

Energy Shifts When We Heal

Like everything else, the relationships in our lives are based on our energetic frequency. The Law of Vibration tells us that our emotions and beliefs vibrate at specific frequencies, and those frequencies attract similar energies from the universe.

When we are stuck in unresolved trauma, our emotional state is often low, and as a result, we attract circumstances, relationships, and experiences that match that frequency. It doesn’t mean that those relationships and experiences were negative, they were simply there to help us grow.

Healing changes us in so many ways, including on an energetic level. As we process our trauma, release old wounds, and step into a new way of being, our vibration begins to rise.

And once we are consistently in a higher vibration, something unexpected happens. We start noticing that we no longer relate to certain people the way we once did. The connection no longer feels the same. The conversations feel forced. The dynamic feels off. It’s not personal, and it’s not anyone’s fault, it’s simply that we are no longer aligned on an energetic level.

I’ve come to realize that this doesn’t happen all at once. It’s also a process that unfolds as our vibration continues to rise. And just when you think you’ve lost all the people you’re going to lose, the universe surprises you with more loss. At least this was the case for me.

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance." - Alan Watts

Why We Resist Change

This part of the healing journey can be incredibly lonely. When we’ve already experienced so much loss and hurt, the idea of losing people, especially people who have been in our lives for a long time, can feel overwhelming. It may even seem easier to remain in that familiar past and to keep ourselves at the same frequency just so we don’t have to experience anymore loss.

But if we do that, we are not being true to ourselves and that kind of defeats the purpose of the recovery journey. I became aware of something important when I came to that particular crossroad. I realized that I already felt alone even when I was around a lot of the people in my life. This was a big realization and it kept me from staying in places that I had outgrown.

For me, loneliness doesn’t come from being alone. It came from feeling misunderstood, feeling like I couldn’t be my true authentic self, and feeling like I had to suppress the new version of me in order to fit into an old life that I was rapidly outgrowing.

So instead of resisting, I surrendered to the process. I reminded myself that life is about moving forward, continually growing and evolving, and stepping into new versions of myself as they arise. And like a snake sheds its skin to continue growing, that meant shedding the old versions of who I used to be and the relationships that were built on those versions.

"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living."

Anatole Franc

Trust the Process

Some people in our lives are not meant to be there forever. And that’s okay.

We can use our energy to analyze what “went wrong” in those relationships, or we can accept that some people’s part in our life was only meant to be temporary and that our vibrational frequencies are no longer a match.

If we trust the process and allow ourselves to let go of what no longer serves our growth, we create space for the people who are meant to walk with us on this new path. The loneliness doesn’t last forever. Eventually, we begin to attract relationships that align with our new, higher vibrational frequency.

Healing from PTSD taught me that change is necessary for growth. It’s not always easy, and yes, it can hurt a lot. But if I had chosen to stay in the comfort of the familiar past and resisted the shift, I would not be where I am today. And I wouldn’t trade the life I am stepping into now for anything.

It’s Okay to Let Go

So if you’re in the stage of your healing journey where you’re watching people fade from your life and feeling the heaviness of that shift, I want you to know that it’s okay to let go.

It’s okay to move forward. It’s okay to be the new version of you. Your new, higher energetic frequency will attract the people who are meant to walk beside you during this part of your journey.

Don’t be afraid to let go of what you’re leaving behind, because what’s ahead is even greater than you could have imagined.

And I promise you, it’s worth it.

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